A Candle

I am not religious, but I am the newest, proudest member of the Mission San Juan Capistrano Mission museum.  I do believe in God and usually find him wherever I am, and I found Him today, where I was. Winding through Father Junipero Serra's chapel, I had a private minute in a "healing" saint's tiny prayer chapel that was off to the side, and in both chapels, I wrote prayers for my family (and one person I don't know personally) in a prayer book. In the little chapel, all by myself, I spoke them, too. I saw several tables of candles and with each one, I looked all around, wishing for a candle to light for my younger son, but I didn't see any and didn't feel comfortable asking, even though I really wanted it.  I used to light these candles in Monterey when my father was sick.  

I let it go, stopped to see a tallow pit, took some selfies with some lotus (lotii?) and fish, then bought some honey made by nuns (honey that had clearly been on the shelf for a long time, but as I always heard, even the pots of honey entombed with the pharaohs of Egypt is still good to eat (but you should first pop it in the microwave and then stir it a bit before you do). After this, I went to a restaurant called "El Adobe" and according to the menu, it was a favorite of Richard Nixon (but they didn't give me his table).  Whatever anyone has to say about the man, he had great taste in Mexican food.  Coincidentally, I ate at a restaurant called "Gulliver's" in Irvine the other night and found out that John Wayne was a regular (but they didn't give me his table).  The lighting was very, very dim, you couldn't see much, but there was mystique in it.  This way, folks like John Wayne can eat in peace without being recognized. Both of these restaurants are hard core steak houses.  In these places, ordering a desired cut of beef is a big decision, serious international business. It's like choosing the grade of a diamond. I wasn't ready for it.  I had a salad and fish.


Back to the candle...When I was eating my snapper tacos, the waiter came and placed a candle on my table, but it was only 5 o'clock and very sunny bright outside, not to mention, he didn't put it with the other things at the center of the table; he put it directly on top of the magazine I was given at the mission when I signed up for membership, which was a bit strange because it was off to the side.  I didn't even notice this until just before I left, but when I did, I noticed that the candle itself, while it was not red (like the ones in the chapel), was the same size and seemed like the same style. I knew right away that this was symbolic of my prayer.  I felt the direct response.  These quiet communications happen all the time and every time, I feel excited inside like a little kid, wondering how such magic can be real.


When I walked back to my car, I made a voice recording of all of this because I recently decided (and made a voice recording for myself) that instead of documenting pain or hurt (as I have slowly developed the habit of doing), I will document the joy I feel.  I said in the earlier recording that even if things are not going well, I will look at the beautiful, blue sky (as I was in that exact moment) and let that remind me to keep my face looking skyward, to "fly over" whatever it is, and I will make recordings that will renew my joyful rhythm, rather than recordings that keep me on a different track. I've followed through with this.  When I got to my car, my Pandora radio came on (on my random favorited picks), and of all music, a Spanish guitar piece called "Cielo Azul"(blue sky!) came on.  I'm not even remotely familiar with it, but it had a great sound, so I looked at the name, and there it was! Blue sky!  I made a third recording at that moment with the music loud...and I will replay it for myself as a reminder that my heart is listened to and my prayers matter.